There is a tremendous difference between talking and communicating. Effective communication means making a connection with the other person who we believe really understands us.

Effective communication skills can be a tremendous asset in all aspect of your life.

Why is effective communication so powerful?

The answer to that question can be found in a quote by Kim Krizan from the movie “Waking Life,” “what we all want is for someone to understand us, and to feel we have connected.” When we connect, we feel a special affinity with the person who we believe really understands us.

Communication is how your message is delivered and how it is received. It is two-way, involving both the sender, and the receiver.

Effective communication involves not only words, but your body language, what “voice” you use, and the art of listening.

How can you improve your communication skills?

The following tips can help you to communicate more clearly and effectively

1. Be Aware of your Own Vocal ToneWhen speaking, your tone of voice says a great deal about the emotions you’re really feeling during a conversation. Pay attention to how your tone affects how others respond to you and the emotions they express in return. Remember, what comes back to us from others is indicative of what we have originally put out.

2. Make Good Eye ContactIf you fail to make good eye contact, it sends a message that you are either evading something, hiding something, or simply not interested in the current discussion. Eye contact is critical to communication.

Practice your eye contact skills by making eye contact in four to five second intervals. Keeping eye contact with the other person will also help keep your attention on them as well. It also stops your mind from wandering.

3. Make Your Communication More Effective and MeaningfulVerbal and nonverbal communication skills work together in conveying your message. You can improve your spoken words by using nonverbal gestures that reinforce and support what you are saying. Remember, your whole body, as well as your mind, is a constant and powerful channel for communication.

4. Look for Verbal/Non-Verbal ContrastsCheck to see if the other person’s words match their nonverbal gestures. Research indicates that when words fail to match up with nonverbal behavior, people tend to ignore what is said and focus on nonverbal expressions of moods, thoughts, and emotions instead.

5. Clarification is Critical for Effective CommunicationCheck in with your listener to make sure that your message is being understood as intended, and never assume that your listener has the same knowledge or interest in a subject as you. The person you communicate with will listen and absorb your information when you present it in their terms. Communicate to them using their interests, experiences and background.

6. Give Your Full AttentionWe might think we can multi-task, especially during a conversation. Divided attention is actually no attention. As humans, we really can only focus on one thing at a time. During a conversation, minimize potential distractions within and without. Listening is an active process of trying to understand what someone else is saying. Listening is not a passive, quiet moment when you are just waiting until it’s your turn to talk again.

When you practice these tips on effective communication by using your “voice” effectively, making certain your non-verbal communication matches the message you want to send and listening actively, focusing on the other person, with understanding and empathy, you will be on the path to success in your career, your business, your relationships, your health and your life!

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